Dear self,

Because she knows that shit like that can be prevented. As much as I wanted it, I knew I didn't need it, and I definitely knew to keep my distance. I let it spill here and there and I'll admit, it got to me big time. This over thinking stuff can bite at some points. Right now I'm at the point where I've convinced myself that its true. So I've decided to step back, I can't do this, I don't have the patience, and I don't have the time. Maybe this is a one day thing, maybe it isn't, maybe I'm lying. This isn't the first time, but it feels weirder every single time. What in the shit, what in the SHIT. Maybe theses pixie sticks are getting to me.. -_- Or maybe its the cotty stress. Or maybe its the family issues or maybe its just me like it has been alllll along. I wish I knew what to think, I'll pray for it. Lord please guide me. I'm lost as heck in this mess I literally got myself into. I hate over thinking, but I do it everytime. Do I do that because "Steph you are one of the most considerate people I know" is it? Or do I just effing do it to bring myself down, like an alternative to cutting? I know I have the power to do anything, to stop these weird ways and whatever. This time is different. Something else was involved.

ruhgn;bdlk v;k[o;l/.gb

Tylenol then KO. whats wrong with me :(